It's getting on my wick!

Next in the series of guest blogs on "Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring" is from Kev Wyke. Kev is a freelance Organisational Development Consultant, a relentlessly positive coach and an eternally optimistic facilitator who has yet to start his own blog but can be found lurking on twitter @kevwyke.

Once you've read his post below, drop by and give him a grin!

It's getting on my wick!

Why do we love to moan so much? It's getting on my wick!

Over the last billion years of working in and with teams it seems to have been one of the constants, we whinge to our colleagues, we grumble to our loved ones and we moan to our mates in the pub.

For (insert deity of choice)'s sake we even invite a moan as an opening to a conversation "what's up" a how many times has a meeting started with "what could we improve" "let's have a look at what went wrong" or some other euphemism for "let's all have a good old moan about how crap it is here and spend the next hour wingeing about all the spilled milk that's passed under the bridge 'cos a good old moaning session is cathartic isn't it."

It may well be cathartic, who knows, what I do know is that it never feels productive to me. The problem I find with starting with the negatives (whether they be the moans from the past or the difficulties of the future) is that it seems to lock you in to a negative mindset. The focus is on the things that didn't work, that we didn't do or the stuff that we still need to overcome or will derail us and sometimes (ok quite often actually) that stops us from moving a single step further forward at all.

So my scientific research proves that we all love to moan and naturally fall in to this 'mode' if allowed, what can we do about it? Well here's the thing, as a coach or facilitator we have a chance to help our charges change their focus and look at the world through a different lens. And this is where I love to be relentlessly positive, gushingly appreciative and wildly optimistic to help folk to see the world a different way.

This isn't easy and can get you labeled as some half-wit who doesn't understand the risks. But believe me it can help folk move forward and is so much more fun than being a grouch all day.

So when reviewing something I like to ask questions like "What went well?" "What are we proud of?" "What do we want to do more of?".

When looking to the future I want to know "What do we want to be famous for?" "What would you like to achieve?" "When it's brilliant in a few years time what's it like?".

When deciding on options "Which of these do you really love?" "Which one gives the best outcome?" "Which will work best for you?" "Which gives you most energy?".

And when making plans "What actions will make this work?" "What is the best thing that you can do now?" "What will help you move towards your goal?".

This relentless chirpiness takes a fair bit of energy and sometimes folk don't like it, they want their opportunity to let off steam and share their woes. But remember our role as coach or facilitator is not to collude in some whinge-fest or to let folk fester in their rut, we're there to help them move forward and leap further.

So I smile and ask them again "What went well? What are you really proud of? What do you want to be famous for?".

(HT to appreciative inquiry for all it has done for me)

Developing my Practice and Staying Sharp!

We're running a series of guest post on "Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring". You can read last week's excellent blogs from Clare Manning here & Ian Pettigrew here.

Today's post is brought to you by Julie Drybrough (@Fuchsia_Blue). As a consultant, facilitator and coach/mentor Julie has worked extensively in both private and public sector enterprises across the UK & Channel Islands for over 12 years. She specialises in leading and supporting organisational & people development, always striving to translate the learning intentions of the organisation into practical actions and outcomes.

I hope you enjoy her post!

Developing my Practice and Staying Sharp!

Reading Clare Manning’s post on Magnificence in Coaching this morning has left me inspired. I’m drawn to the notion of seeing magnificence in my clients – I always see them as resourceful, smart, capable, working hard through their stuff… but magnificence is special and I’m going to work to keep the concept of Magnificence in the room next session…. Fabulous.

Since David asked for guest blogs on Positive Practice in Coaching & Mentoring, I’ve been mulling on what my offering might be. What has emerged is a cross between my history as a developing coach and a call to supervision and support for all practitioners. It goes like this:

I came through the ILM 5 school of coaching – learning my craft through very practical advice about setting up the coaching contract, the process of coaching, some brilliant models and an encouragement to practice, journal, reflect.

For a long time, I stuck to the processes – using GROW and working with the client to identify goals and work through barriers. My reflection on this now is I was working a lot from my head at the start; being analytical of the client’s situation and language; remaining somewhat cool and detached from the person in front of me (check me: Professional Coach!) We had a hour and goals to pursue. Let’s go. From feedback, it was a broadly successful way to work with the client to unlock and unblock. I got repeat business, got recommended on. So it was OK.

Yet I had little scratchy voice telling me there was more for me and for my clients, somehow. I often had more “real” conversations with the client as we opened up or closed off a session. I felt more comfortable when I wasn’t worrying about whether or not we had explored Reality well enough… I felt a little stifled sometimes. This made me curious, so I sought Supervision.

As a person, I’m wired to be intuitive. I’m pretty in touch with my heart voice and my gut voice and I realised, through joining a peer Supervision group, that I wasn’t bringing my whole self to work. My original clients got Head-me……Clients now get whole me. My sense is that works a lot better for everyone.

My coaching practice is increasing grounded in Gestalt methodologies; working to pay exquisite attention to the person opposite, listening well, watching their responses and mannerisms. Part of the deal is I also use my own body, thoughts and responses as data for the client – co-creating a learning, exploring environment where I can reflect back that I feel stuck, or delighted, or that “I’m noticing a clenching of fingers when ever the new “lovely” boss is being mentioned….might that be significant? “

I work hard to stay curious about what I hear, see and experience. I am sometimes off-beam when I offer a reaction and I see my job then as being to explore more with my client. I am not the expert. I have expertise, sure, but only my client (in all their magnificence) truly knows what is real for them. I offer what is real for me and more often than not it is good grounds for discussion. These days I find we don’t just set and pursue goals, we redefine goals. How cool is that?

I’m mindful that I’ve written a lot here and I really could say a lot more….but a key point to all of this is what has consistently helped me and moved me forward as a coach and practitioner has been seeking out supervision, support…whatever you want to define it as.

I’ve had some 1-2-1 Supervision, I’ve worked in an informal peer “triad” in Edinburgh (which was amazing) and I am now in a more formal Group Supervision set with 5 other peers.

As coaches, I would say some of the most positive practice we could participate in is to ensure we are OK. OK as individuals. OK as people. I’d ask us to be rigorous and reflective about our practices; to stay open to new learning – to allow ourselves to bathe in our own magnificence, perhaps.

There are debates raging about Supervision and what is right and proper and accredited – I’m not getting into any of that. I focus on my need to stay sharp for my clients and notice when I’m in difficulty. I seek out peers and non-involved professionals to support me and that feels good. It’s part of my values and my practice. I go with what works. For me, it has been about addressing different needs at different times.

So my offer of positive practice to all magnificent coaches out there is pretty basic: look after yourselves first and you are ultimately looking after your clients well.

It is ALL about the client

Our second guest post in the series on "Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring" is brought to you by Ian Pettigrew (@KingfisherCoach) who runs Kingfisher Coaching with a mission to help people, teams, and organisations to deliver on their potential.

I love the way that the message here is applicable beyond the world of coaching & mentoring... Enjoy!

It is ALL about the client

I read a lot of blogs and I try to read broadly so that I don't just read things that support my own point of view. The downside of this is that I read a lot of things that worry me about coaching as a profession. I've read plenty of things suggesting that the only way to make money as a coach is to develop a product (like an e-book) that will generate a 'passive income' or to produce a new approach that you then licence to others. Of course, both of these approaches have to be supported by fairly aggressive marketing and they often seem to go down the 'success secrets' and the 'amazing, guaranteed results' road.

I don't want to come across as snarky and there are some good e-books and some very good approaches but the positive practice that I want to focus on is that 'It is all about the client' and I do worry that there is too much encouragement that 'It is all about the coach'!

If I think back to my first few experiences as a coach, there were two ways that I was very different to how am I now:

(1) Method: I remember being hugely prepared with 'my approach' and a little too fixed in my ways, having a preconception of how I was going to help my client.

(2) Ego: I recall a slight sense of desperation in wanting my clients to know how clever and skilled I was, hoping that they would tell others how skilled and clever I was!

The positive practice that I want to highlight is that it is ALL about the client. As coaches, this means that it doesn't matter how we label ourselves and what 'kind' of coach we are, we need a flexibility of approach, method, and style that is in the best interests of the client. And it means that we need to approach our clients from a position of humility in that it is not in any way about our own ego, but is all about the client.

If you are a skilled coach and your entire focus is your client, then I believe you will drive positive results for your clients and will be successful. You may not have ‘success secrets’ to sell, but working with clients with flexibility and humility will shine through over time.

Coach and Coachee: A Dance of Magnificence

Last week we broadcast an invitation to blog on "Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring" with a view to sharing more widely the positive coaching & mentoring practices used or experienced by others.

Our first guest post is brought to you by Clare Manning, a Derbyshire coach and mediator. You can find her on Twitter here and read her blog here. Clare loves working with clients who want to reconnect with who they really are when they are most happy, calm and confident. She also firmly believes in the power of positive thinking... Enjoy!

Coach and Coachee: A Dance of Magnificence

Since David's invitation to blog, I've been thinking about positive coaching practice and reflecting on key things that happen in a session. It dawned on me that when I coach I think I'm trying to imbue my clients with a positive outlook and to get them to see themselves in the best light possible... Some of this is done on a subconscious level and some is verbalised and consciously practised by the coachee.

So, when I trained, I naturally took on board the concept that as a coach we must believe that our coachees have the answers to their own issues and are capable of reaching their goals. I embraced the NLP presupposition that 'people have all the resources they need to bring about change and success' . And this is all well and good but always felt a bit flat somehow, not really buzzing with positivity... And then I heard about an approach where you actively hold your clients magnificence in your mind while working with them and that made me sit up and take notice because this sounded wondrous and empowering at the same time. I've been practising this and have been warmed by the results. As a coach, it keeps you in a peak, positive mindset for the whole session and clients seem to read the subtle, yet powerful messages about belief and acceptance that flow through your body language and tone. This, in turn, shifts their mindset into believing that they are indeed capable of achieving anything they set their mind to. So for me, this is an exchange of positivity without words. It passes between coach and coachee at a subconscious level and is deeply powerful as a result.

Now, at a conscious level, a lot of my work focusses on building confidence with clients, working on their self concept, getting them to see and accept their own magnificence which they may have lost sight of over the years. And my sense is that, session by session, clients start to reveal little gems that they had forgotten about or overlooked. As a coach I feel myself catch these gems and hold them up for clients to observe, feel good about and to truly own. These can be achievements, skills, personality traits – anything which is unique and precious to them. By locking these into our self concept, our self belief and confidence grows.

And to pick up on 'uniqueness', I think there is something inherently positive in recognising who you really are, in those moments when you are completely happy in your own skin, content being you. For me, this is the big prize and as a coach, I work with clients to get them to reconnect with 'real you' because therein lies their strength, confidence and the ability to move forward with a positive outlook.... A client said to me recently that 'now I've tapped into the real me everything else seems effortless' and I thought that summed it up beautifully... Once we quietly accept our own magnificence, everything else seems to fall into place.

I could go on but I think I'll stop now and would love to hear your thoughts on how you bring positivity into a session and how you unlock it with your clients... What's your take on magnificence in a coaching relationship?

Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to see Sukh Pabial speaking at the EMCC London Network about Positive Psychology.

In case you've not heard of it, the EMCC London Network is one of around 15 such networks around the UK that operate as inclusive communities of practice. They are for anyone with an interest in coaching &/or mentoring including external & internal practitioners, trainers, supervisors, HR, L&D and OD professionals.

Positive Practices

Sukh's talk was very interactive and helped the audience understand more clearly what is meant by Positive Psychology. Perhaps more importantly, the discussions Sukh facilitated helped me appreciate the related practices that we already use or could use in coaching & mentoring.

It's since struck me that there doesn't seem to much blogging out there about the positive practices that we use when we coach &/or mentor others. The chances are we all coach & mentor to some degree or another and I'm sure we all use positive practices that we could share...

An Invitation to Blog

So do you have some positive practices in coaching & mentoring that you'd like to share? Well, here's your opportunity... Would you like to write a guest blog here?

No matter what your role is, if you have some positive practices that you use, have used or have been a recipient of during coaching or mentoring then I'd love you to share you practices & experiences by guest blogging here!

• You don't need to be a "coach" or "mentor" by title - anyone with an experience of positive practices in coaching or mentoring to share can write here.
• Your experience doesn't need to have been recent - any positive practice that has worked or left a lasting effect can be shared here.
• You choose how much to write and how much to share - quality is much more important to me than quantity. If you desire or require anonymity then that's OK.  If you want to write more than one post that's fine too.

A blogging bonus!

And here's a bonus...  We have 2 tickets to give away for Sukh's "Positive Psychology in Application" event on August 17th in London!

These will be given to the two most inspiring guest posts written and published here before Friday 10th August. Winners will be informed on Friday 10th August. In case you are not able to attend, the winners may choose to "gift" their prize to someone who would benefit and can commit to being at the event.

What next?

Sound interesting? Want to write something about your experiences of "Positive Practices in Coaching & Mentoring"? Leave a comment below or contact me here or on Twitter (@ChangeContinuum).  Look forward to hearing from you!

Purposeful Fun

Have you been following the recent series of guest blogs over at Trainers Kit Bag about "The best learning experience I ever had..."? If not, do take a look, there's some great posts and even a contribution from me!

Reading through these diverse experiences I'm struck by a common theme. Purposeful fun. It's not a phrase you come across that much in corporate life is it? Why is that?

Purpose + Fun = Memorable Learning

Initially, I wondered if perhaps the format of the blog series elicited a common theme... perhaps we all want to relay stories that are readable as well as meaningful to us so we tend to describe purpose and fun in the stories we like to tell...

Yet if I think about when I am most motivated it's when I'm acting with purpose and I'm enjoying it - having fun. When I think about the great teams I've worked with, both purpose & fun were key.

Beyond myself, if I look at my kids, they learn best when they are motivated, acting with purpose and having fun. It might be a creative history project, role play at school or even a weekend game of monopoly! For them purpose & fun creates learning.

I also recall Jon Bartlett writing over on his blog about "Acting on Purpose" and how memorable it is for us to experience others who have that heady combination of purpose & fun.

Similarly, I was lucky enough to hear Sukh Pabial talk recently about Positive Psychology, describing the fulfilment we can achieve when we look at different levels of purpose in our lives.

When we have purpose and fun we create memorable learning.  It feels right. 

What do you think?

Creating Purposeful Fun

So you may be aware that we've been using the "Property Trading Game" in our work. We're finding it to be a brilliant way to observe and develop both teams and individuals whilst engaged in purposeful fun. It's also hugely enjoyable to facilitate!

You can read more about it's impact, learning & reflections on these Trainers Kit Bag blogs here and here - be sure to read the comments on that last one!

For more participant perspectives then this post from Kate Griffiths-Lambeth "Winning Ways" is great. I  also wrote a "mini-series" here.

Funnily the photos and memory of our experiences "in the street" from last year still make me smile - purposeful fun at work again creating memorable learning!

Want some Purposeful Fun?

If the above has piqued your interest, then I think this could be right up your street...

We've partnered with Doug Shaw at What Goes Around and the folks at Trainers Kit Bag to create a " Property Trading Game " Open Day on September 12th this year.

Working in teams you'll experience a day of networking, learning and purposeful fun where you can experience the " Property Trading Game " as a participant. Then enjoy dinner with us as we reflect and digest both the food and the day! For a modest sum we think you'll enjoy some purposeful fun, memorable learning and an opportunity to see what the "Property Trading Game" can do for individuals, teams and organisations.

If that sounds interesting and you'd like more information or to chat, then please contact me - I'd love to hear from you!

If you are "game on" and need nothing further then excellent - please book your place(s) HERE!

Watching over us

The phone rings and my wife dashes to answer it. I overhear her talking to someone I know is familiar to her but it’s not a friend or relative. I hear her saying “thank you” as the tears and crying come. As I rush to find her in the kitchen she finishes the call and breaks down. 

Monica was her mother and she died peacefully in her sleep on the morning of 21st June last year. She was an amazing woman. Not only for the love she gave but also for all the hardship and pain that she had endured from an early age. You never knew everything about her or her upbringing but she gave you glimpses of her life now and then. 

Perhaps that’s the role of a parent… to share enough to guide your children but not everything. Besides, what mattered more than anything else, for all of us, was the grandmother she could be to our children. 

The joy our children and “Granny Mana” brought to each other was clear. On a gloomy day they would lift her spirits and spontaneously share their unconditional love with her. Every single time. Similarly, no matter how bad a day she was having she would also give her love to them without condition. 

She was such a part of our family that it felt that we were a unit of five - Granny, Mum, Dad and the two boys. Basil the dog was also a huge fan of Granny and would often sit close to her, protectively, but always being careful not to sit on her toes! 

It’s been a year and now there are four of us. The huge gap left with her passing seems to have been filled with the sense of her presence with us in so many places. Fond memories but also a sense of her still watching over our family and being the grandmother she could be. 

The next clear night we get, we’ll look up at the sky with the boys and find her star, as we do with Grandad and thank them for keeping watch over all of us.

As with all things the above only relates one persons story - my story.  Here is another more personal story.  A "letter" from my wife Paula to her Mum written to accompany this post...

To my Mum

It is one year today since you died peacefully in your sleep. You got the end you deserved Mum and I am thankful for that.

I think of what you would be doing were you still here... You would have enjoyed watching Euro 2012, maybe not the Irish matches, although you would certainly have appreciated the fans singing. I miss seeing your happiness at spending time with us and particularly with your two special grandsons. 

I love you and that has never been in any doubt but I have constantly struggled to come to terms with your mental illness. I have felt anger that my mum was taken away from me when I was seven and replaced her by a mother who struggled to retain her identity throughout frequent bouts of illness. 

I will always carry a child’s feelings of guilt that my love for you could not save you or make you better. There were far too many goodbyes at the end of numerous visits to psychiatric wards and hospitals, hurrying to get back to ‘normality’, away from the chain-smoking patients sitting in their drug induced torpor or from those that were more worryingly clearly agitated and disturbed. 

As a child, witnessing people battle with mental illness was an overwhelming, confusing and frightening experience. Although you were struggling with your own illness you tried to protect us from that as best you could.

However, far worse than our fear of others ‘insanity’ was our conflicting guilt at leaving you there and the relief that we didn’t have to cope with you at home. As I got older I could sense your fear and sadness at those partings, although you always did your best to try and hide it from us. As a mother myself I feel such pride and admiration that throughout it all you still tried so hard to be a loving, caring and supportive mum. 

So now you’re gone. I don’t have to worry anymore whether you are taking your tablets, or to try and convince you to go to bed after days with out sleep, during one of your more manic phases. I won’t quietly sit with you anymore listening to music, your place of refuge from the world of delusion and paranoia that you often inhabited. 

You always had that keen Irish wit and appreciation of a good laugh. Many a misdemeanour could be forgiven for someone with a sense of humour. I miss your ability to laugh at life, even though you walked a harder path than many of us. 

So Mum, although there were times over the years that I wished an end to it because it was just too hard, I wish with all my heart that at this moment we could be sitting together listening to music and sharing a laugh. 

All my love always 

Paula x

Something Special

If you look to the right of your screen you'll see what you've done for the past 500 or so days... found it?

That's it... you've read this blog over 10,000 times! You probably didn't realise but in doing so you've done something quite special for me. This 80th blog post explains... 

Your reading

I write my blogs "in the moment". Sure there's sometimes a bit of rework and sometimes I delete a draft. However, I write when I feel the energy for a subject. There's not a stack of drafts cooking slowly in the background or a schedule of pre-written blogs. What you read is me, now, right or wrong.

So when you read my post you are listening to me right here right now. I really appreciate you taking that time to listen to my thoughts, ramblings & opinions. It's something special to me. Thank you.

Your Comments

I write my blogs to stimulate discussion and debate around the subjects posted. What we do thereafter is up to us. So when you share your perspectives and comment, you make the blog successful. Particularly so when we have the good debate!

What I didn't expect a year or so ago is that our dialogue on these posts would move away from the "comments box" and onto Twitter and the real world. I think it's wonderful and something special! Thank you.

Your Feedback

I still feel I have a lot to learn about blogging. I don't mean about how to manage a blog although I think that's constantly evolving. I feel I have a lot to still learn about myself blogging - in particular my writing, my thinking, my areas of interest, even my motivation. I believe blogging is supposed to be that way. There's meant to be a slight and constant tension.

Publicly and behind the scenes, lots of you have shared with me your feedback on how I blog. The support it provides is amazing. That feedback is such a gift. It's something special to me. Thank you.

Your Contributions

Many of my blogs have started from a conversation elsewhere. Whether you know it or not, you have quite probably contributed in some way to a blog post here!

However, the blog was always meant to be a vehicle for others to contribute so I'm delighted when someone posts a guest blog here. It provides such different perspectives and even better writing!

I've had some very special contributions from Guest Bloggers so here's your own very special Blog Roll. Thank you!

"Working With People" by an anonymous HR professional

"Ironic or is it?" by Jon Bartlett (@Projectlibero)

"The Coaching Journey" by Karen Locking (@karenlocking)

"How Coaching Has Helped Me: A Coach’s Perspective" by Vera Woodhead (@verawoodhead)

"Mapping the Mind" by Bev Holden (@stickythinker)

The Future

The blog and it's readership has grown & developed beautifully. So to a large extent I'd be very happy if the future brought more of the same. However, there are a few areas of development that you can expect...

Personally, I think my earlier posts didn't hold enough challenge. So over time I've been more deliberate about creating greater tension & challenge - expect more of this! A big thanks goes to Natasha Stallard (@StirTheSource) for helping me express this (#mindtheedge).

I've not been particularly deliberate about blog subjects, always writing where I found the energy. So the tags to the right of your screen quite pleasingly reflect much of what I do and want to write about. Ironically, the most frequent topics include Coaching, Leadership, Learning and even Social Media but not Change... We all have blind spots sometimes but expect a few more blogs on Change in the future!

The Guest Blogs have been rewarding in different ways but always bring in perspective or experiences that I don't have. I love it and want to encourage more people to guest blog here - regardless of experience. If this interests you, no matter how unsure you are, then just reach out to me publicly or privately.

Thanks for reading & helping make this blog successful.  I hope you continue to enjoy it!

At risk of being coached?

I met someone earlier this week and we were talking about coaching. The conversation turned towards how some practitioners take a very purist stance towards coaching and how others don’t. 

In this instance, a purist stance would be what is often termed “non-directive”. That is to say that the coaches role is purely to ask open questions without directing the client, using the clients own language... The main principle is that the coach does not in any way provide advice or direct the clients actions. 

To be pedantic there is no such thing as “non-directive” in any human interaction but that’s another blog! 

Whose Risk? 

I’m not knocking the spirit or the practice of “non-directive” coaching. However, this isn’t always what a client wants. In an organisational setting it’s not always what a client needs. So who decides? 

Take for example a manager who is having trouble performance managing members of staff. The purpose of the coaching & the contracting with the coach is focussed on improving the managers ability to deal with performance situations. 

In the coaching conversation, the manager decides to take a course of action that to an informed outsider would clearly put them & their organisation at risk – say unfair dismissal. 

If the “non-directive” coach, identified the risk how could they intervene and remain “non-directive”? It’s a perfectly reasonable & professional practice in any form of coaching (or mentoring) to seek permission to “take off the coaching hat” to offer thoughts or reactions. However, for a purist coach to do this in some way would seem to undermine the whole purpose of being “non-directive”. 

Here’s another perhaps more important issue. What would happen if the “non-directive” coach didn’t appreciate the risk being taken. After all this is not what they were employed to do. Could they become complicit with reinforcing the clients’ agenda and decision to take a detrimental course of action? 

Who decides what a clients wants and what a client needs? Whose risk is it? 

The ill advised need sound advice 

Coaching is not about giving advice. However, it is about care for our clients. 

Fundamentally, no amount of “non-directive” coaching will help the ill advised follow a safer course of action. In fact, the above example shows that “non-directive” coaching may even enforce their stance. 

In any other walk of life, it’s hard to imagine a paid professional sitting across from their client and letting them pursue a course of action that would put them at peril without raising their own concerns. 

Perhaps this is why organisations tend to “buy” coaches with industry & leadership experience rather than purely coaching qualifications. 

Does purist coaching make sense in organisations? 

I can’t say never, but I have a long standing concern...

Even though we always strive to help our client determine their own agenda and actions, coaching is a human interaction. Human interactions require us to give of each other and see each other - @Projectlibero puts this very eloquently here.

In organisations, we are working in systems where potential risks and consequences of our actions can be amplified. If we don’t share our care and concerns do we potentially put our clients at risk? 

What do you think?

Always there...

I can't imagine losing either of my children. It's perhaps a deep seated fear in all of us but it's something I just can't contemplate. Whether you have children or not I'm sure you know what I mean.

My children have been poorly - we nearly lost our youngest in childbirth - but there have always been medical professionals & emergency services on hand to help. I know we are privileged in the western world but it's easy to take such things for granted isn't it.

I don't remember exactly when I "met" @RobertWeeks on Twitter. I do remember when I read about the sudden death of his daughter Sophia, at just 11 weeks old. I can't imagine his family's heartbreak but reading about Sophia and what Robert shares on Twitter has moved me deeply.

The only thing I can do to help is support Robert and his family's fundraising.

Walking the Three Peaks

A few months ago my good friend Matt suggested we walk Yorkshire's Three Peaks together before he & his family emigrates to the USA. We'll stay in touch across the Atlantic but it's possibly the last opportunity we'll have to do anything like this together in the UK.

A few weeks ago, I asked Robert if he'd mind if I tried to help his fundraising efforts whilst doing the Three Peaks walk. Possibly a strange request from someone he only knows through Twitter but bless him he came straight back with his full support.

Inspired by little Archies Walk, it felt right to help support Robert's fundraising for Great Western Air Ambulance @GWAAC. I don't need to tell you how important Air Ambulances are for providing urgent help - it just amazing how such critical charities are entirely funded by private donations.

You Can Help

Whether this is the first time you've visited the blog or you're a regular reader; whether you know me personally, through Twitter or not at all; you can help too. 

Firstly, thank for you for reading this far. I hope you've been able to take the time to read about Robert and his family's fundraising and Archies Walk.

Now for the price of a cup of tea or more if you'd prefer, I'd love it if you could help me raise money for @GWAAC. Just click here...

http://www.justgiving.com/DavidsThreePeaksWalk

Thank you.

Vote for me?

It’s great to be nominated for an award. In itself it’s often a great achievement, let alone actually winning one. Once nominated though, it’s often the case that people like you & me get a chance to vote for that winner. 

All fair enough but what if you’ve never seen a nominees work or performance? 

Could you vote for a stranger? 

I was recently approached on Twitter by someone I vaguely know. They are a coach and I have no reason to believe that they don’t work to the set of coaching ethics that I do. We’ve met once, briefly at a conference in a group exercise. We follow each other on Twitter but we’ve not connected elsewhere and have never picked up the phone to each other. 

They wanted me to vote for them for a coaching award they had been nominated for & to retweet the fact that they’ve been nominated. 

I could have ignored their direct request to me but that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. I have respect for them based on what I know of them and that respect encouraged me to respond with my dilemma...  I explained my feelings and asked them on what basis do I vote for them in particular over the other candidates? 

My gut feel for the situation was rewarded with the sense of having done the right thing and with a prompt and reasonable reply. Their suggestion was that I could look at all the nominees videos and decide based on what I feel is in line with my values and integrity. A fair & respectful response I think. 

That feeling of being Chugged... 

I’ll do nothing about the voting – the videos say what you’d expect the nominees to say. Perhaps more importantly, in my heart I feel that you can only genuinely vote for someone when you have an appreciation of their abilities & how they perform. 

But here’s the thing. The experience felt a bit like when you are approached by a “Chugger” on the street. They may be nice people. Their cause may be worthy. But their manner of approach and apparent motivation feels wrong... 

Unfortunately, this experience has made me question this persons judgement. I’m wondering if really they are just trying to win the nomination not on merit but by mobilising their Twitter followers to vote for them. I wonder if this approach risks making the award a hollow popularity contest...

Do I know you well enough? 

So I look at Twitter and the people I follow and wonder who do I know well enough to vote for them if they were nominated for an award in their area of expertise. There’s plenty of folk I like, respect & want to support but sometimes that isn’t enough. I have great friends on Twitter who I trust but I’ve rarely seen them at work. 

So I look at myself on Twitter and wonder who knows my work well enough to vote for me in the work that I do? Of my 900 followers who would I genuinely approach? 

I’m not chasing awards but the answer makes me realise that what I’m doing on Twitter is not enough. For all the great learning, sharing, support, debate and friendships I have thanks to Twitter there’s very few people in a position to endorse my work in this way. That’s something I’m going to change. 

In the meantime, I have a couple of questions for you... 

How would you have responded to the ethical situation I described above? I’d like to learn from others' perspectives on this example.

Looking at your Twitter interactions, do you also find few people know your work well enough to vote for you? Perhaps I’m in the minority!

Beecroft – Who is Under Performing?

OK there’s a lot being written about the Beecroft Report at the moment and I’ve hesitated to write anything at all. However, there’s an important aspect to this story which just doesn’t seem to be coming out loudly. Who is underperforming? 

Current perspective 

The Telegraph’s story yesterday included a headline saying : 

“The majority of employers back controversial proposals to allow “no-fault dismissals” for under-performing workers, a survey has revealed.” 

The story then reveals it’s not the majority of employers – it’s the 1,100 respondents to an IoD survey where 76% backed the proposals. The director-general of the Institute of Directors, Simon Walker, is quoted as saying : 

“Our members prefer Beecroft’s ideas on unfair dismissal to the watered-down model being promoted as an alternative, so the Government should not waver”. “Beecroft’s changes to dismissal procedures would reduce regulatory burdens and encourage businesses to recruit more people — anything less would have a considerably weaker effect.” 

I’m not going to assume what the UK business community do or don’t feel about the Beecroft report. Plenty of others are already doing this. However, the positioning of the promoted benefit to business overlooks a fundamental part of good business. 

This is not really about business growth is it?

If you are planning to grow your company through recruiting more people then your focus is on growth not the regulatory burdens of removing staff at some theoretical point in the future when they have failed to perform. So “the story” here to a large extent doesn’t really deal with the dynamics of successful businesses enjoying growth. 

The issue is then more one of how you can replace under-performing staff in businesses regardless of their economic success. The process of staff replacement may on occasion be business enhancing… it could involve recruitment… but the net effect is not necessarily greater employment or business growth, in the short term or possibly ever. 

Are the headline grabbing stories persuading us to think of the Beecroft report as a way to business growth? Possibly… regardless, this not about business growth in successful businesses is it? 

This is about underperformance. By whom? 

There are a multitude of reasons why staff may under perform. However, if you can’t deal effectively with someone who is underperforming with current legislation etc. then what does it actually say about you as a business or as a manager? 

In my experience, it’s those who can thrive through adversity who are successful. 

If you can’t effectively deal with under-performance in your business today, then can you actually nurture great performance through people at all? 

Could revised legislative changes help perpetuate underperformance of managers who are not able address performance through developmental conversations? 

The Irony of Beecroft

Have you seen the reported explanation from Adrian Beecroft of what/who influenced his thinking… 

“It is actually a human resources director whom Mr Beecroft was once forced to dismiss, an experience that made the venture capitalist determined to reform the system. “We had an HR man who was very good at the technical stuff, but hopeless with people so we dismissed him, having thought we’d gone through the process,” Mr Beecroft explains. The company then placed an advert for a replacement who was “good with people”. “And he sued us for discrimination on the grounds that everybody knows that people who are good with people means we want a woman. We went to the lawyers and said this is ridiculous and they said we’d have to pay and so we paid him.” The £150,000 payoff that Mr Beecroft’s firm had to make to the under-performing employee was, he says, a typical experience for entrepreneurs and small business owners. Many people simply do not bother to hire because of the problems it can cause, he claims.” 

What is not said by Mr Beecroft is how his firm managed:

• the hiring decision/process. 
• the performance management process. 

Then what is said but won’t be addressed by his recommendations… 

• the bone of contention being an issue of discrimination.

In Adrian Beecroft's own words… “Some employee protections, such as those preventing discrimination or dangerous working conditions, must be maintained.”

It’s easy to read this and think red-tape & legislation led to an extortionate payout of £150k… the reality is that perceived or actual discrimination led them to settle out of court as the lawyers must have perceived there was a risk of being found wanting in a tribunal. 

Ironic isn't it? What does this say about his firms ability to lead and manage people let alone manage their performance?

Recommended Further Blog Reading 

Flip Chart Fairy Tales

XpertHR

Communities Take Action

I’m just returning from latest Coaching & Mentoring “research day” run by Sheffield Hallam Business School (SHU). For those of you who don’t know, the round trip to Sheffield from my home in Norfolk is over 7 hours by train. Not something I undertake lightly but these “research days” are worth every minute!

The train journeys also give me time to work & blog... 

The value of the Unconference format 

Run with an OpenSpace format by the Coaching & Mentoring faculty at SHU these “research days” might also be described as quarterly unconferences.

I’m a big fan of the unconference format but I believe there’s always a risk that they won’t produce any tangible community action. There may be lots of great individual learning, connecting and discussion but leading to what? 

Assuaging my unconference fears was last months’ first #LDConnect Unconference (#ldcu). This has generated some great thinking which has continued and developed after the event and is in my opinion building towards real action. 

Today’s “research day” went one further. 

Community Action 

In one session, a very lively group of us explored the dynamics around Coach Supervision and the expanding number of coaches becoming Coach Supervisors. 

On the one hand there was appreciation for the role of Supervision as part of our development & professional practice. On the other hand, the rapid growth of income generating Supervision with a focus on coaches and not mentors felt like a big warning signal. 

After some great discussion a vision for the future was loosely developed. I won’t go into too much detail here & now as it’s going to be developed into a co-created article for the Industry magazine “Coaching at Work”... 

A positioning paper from a group of professional coaches/mentors & academics to challenge the status quo. To share our collective thinking on how the industry could adopt a more suitable approach to developing professional practice. 

Now that is what I call action! 

Simply Special

Was this group special? Yes and no...

We developed this thinking collectively around an area of common interest. We saw something wasn’t quite right but we were keen to develop our understanding through open dialogue. We came to a joint conclusion on what could be done to constructively (not destructively) create a better future. We decided to take action - collectively. 

It was that simple and for that it is also a bit special. 

What you going to do?

I know we’ve not completed our journey yet. We’ve not yet shifted the thinking of the industry let alone the professional bodies. But we’re going to try in a constructive & collaborative manner. 

We could all do similar - something simple, something special.

So why don’t we just do it?

You did it! Right?

Great weekend?  Fabulous!  Last week was busy wasn't it & I'm sure this week will be too.

You read Friday's post here didn't you?  Great!

So you had that phone call... You emailed some folk to arrange to talk... You committed those fantastic plans to paper and shared them... Yes?  Great!  How did it feel?

Oh I'm sorry...  You didn't have time?  You didn't read the post?  Nothing happened last week worth sharing?  Really?

You're better than that I'm sure.  Have another think...

What made last week stand out?  What can you take from last week and do something with this week?  Who are you going to tell about it?

Before the tide of this week washes you into Friday, find the energy to do something with whatever last week washed up on the beach. If it's elusive and you can't find it, reach out and ask for the help of a friend to do a bit of beachcoming.

If you're not quite ready yet then watch this video and find your story for tomorrow.

Thanks to @KingfisherCoach & @Brainpicker for sharing this video.

Will it go 'round in circles?

It's the end of the week and we've all been very busy.

Lots of talking. Lots of thinking. Lots of inspiration.

It's OK.  It's Friday and the weekend is coming to rest our weary minds.

But there's the problem... as a salve the weekend can't help but take away some of the energy you have built this week. If you're not careful those great ideas will stumble...  Will it go 'round in circles?

Maybe that's as it should be.  Or maybe you want to turn those plans into something more than just talk, thoughts & dreams.  Maybe you've got a song but perhaps you haven't got a melody yet.

Do yourself a favour...

Pick up the phone and tell someone your dream.  Email some folk and arrange to talk about how to turn that dream into a plan.  Write a blog about what you are committing to do and invite people to join you.

Take some inspiration from @RafaDavies  and read what he's doing here.

Listen & watch this group of people come together and do something.  Feel the energy.  Then do something!

If you don't will it go 'round in circles? Have a great weekend!

The Wondering Wanderer

By Jtneill [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once upon a time a man lived in a big city. In some ways he was an ordinary bloke but he noticed things. Things others didn’t seem to notice. 

He noticed that although everyone had all that they needed, many were unhappy.

He noticed that in the big city, those who lived in the tallest parts never mixed with those in the rest of the city. Yet the whole city was governed and controlled by those in the big white palace on the hill. In his heart he felt this was wrong but he didn’t know why. 

Being a man to follow his heart, with the arrival of summer he decided to wander to far away lands to see if every town and city was the same. An ambitious endeavour but his goal was set. 

The Communal Conundrum 

The first town he came to he noticed was quite different to his own. In fact there were no buildings at all. All the people lived happily together in a group of caves but with no sign of any shops. 

Upon asking an old man about why this was, the old man said he had never heard of a shop. Everyone gathered & made what they needed each day as it came. The Wanderer commented that it seemed very sensible and all the people seemed very happy. 

The old man agreed that everyone got on together very happily but often the people were hungry. Each day the people would gather and go out together to find food. However, they all stayed together. So when they managed to find a tree with fruit, each had some but never enough to fill their bellies. 

Even though they were happy with each others company, they remained constantly hungry and the winters in the caves took their toll. Puzzled by their communal conundrum they carried on as best they could. 

The Wanderer realised just how fortunate he was because this never happened in his city. 

Snug but Hungry 

Moving on, the Wanderer came to the second town. This town was quite different being made of wood, mud and thatch and outside of each house were baskets of fruit & other foods. Approaching another old man, he remarked on how different this town was to the last.

The old man said that once upon a time they too had lived in those damp caves. However, they had realised that if each morning they discussed what they needed, the people could go out in groups to different places to gather as much as was required. Over time it had meant they could gather the materials they needed to build these nice snug homes. Winters still came harsh but the warm houses made a difference.

The Wanderer could see the sense of this.  He wished he could return to the first village and help them understand how they too could achieve this with a little foresight.

However, summer was progressing and he felt there was more to explore and understand. 

Best Laid Plans 

Journeying further, the Wanderer came to a third and final town. All seemed very similar to the second town except it was much larger. He commented on this to an old lady. 

She agreed that indeed a few years ago they had been almost exactly the same as the town he'd just visited. However, with the harsh winters and their warm, snug houses came larger families! Because of this they needed to provide more food and to store some for the hard winters. So the people had sat down and discussed how they might do this. They had no idea where to start but over a few days they managed to agree how they might attempt this feat over the coming seasons. 

In that first year, they made mistakes but because they all had a shared vision and wanted to help each other they managed to improve their fortunes.

The old lady went on to tell how the next year they sat down again and discussed how they could do this each and every year. They wanted to ensure that the children born that last winter could safely survive the coming years. Sure enough they agreed a way forward and in time the town grew and was filled with the sound of children all year round. 

He marvelled at the sense & success of this and how they had still managed to foster a happy community, unlike in his city. The Wanderer congratulated the old lady on the way she and her people had improved their town. 

Flattered by his praise, she smiled and whispered quietly, “Would you like to see something even more special?”. 

Agreeing, she led him out of the village to a small hill where the elders of the town were gathered. They were all admiring a large white square in the ground created from stone. The Wanderer asked the lady what it was. 

With great pride she said, “We’ve found a way to make our town even more successful! As we get older our houses are less comfy but we treasure the wisdom of our elders. So we are going to build them an Ivory Tower!” 

The Wanderer looked around him and wondered where it had all gone wrong… 

Background Footnote 

A funny little story, this blog was in response to a provocative conversation on Twitter started by @DougShaw1 with the following tweet : 

“Can you see into the future? Nope - neither can I. Which is why strategic planning is such a waste of time and money. Follow your heart.” 

The ensuing dialogue between Doug, Sukh Pabial, Jonathan Wilson and myself led to Doug writing “I Have A Dream” over on his blog.  This little story was a way to express the value and perils of "strategic planning" without us arguing over the commercial merits in the workplace. I hope I achieved at least some of that sentiment!

Why not join in the discussion and comment here or here?

HR - Saviour of the Universe

It feels like nearly every week I see a blog post, discussion or tweet about how HR are going to be the saviours of the working world... how HR will revolutionise & humanise the workplace... how HR are going to save the universe...

Similarly, there's a constant stream of conversation about HR becoming more strategic & commercially focused; gaining a seat at the table...

Perhaps they are laudable aspirations but sometimes it just feels a bit like a Flash Gordon plot...  Ming the Merciless is going to destroy us but Gordon will be our saviour!

Maybe it's a generational thing but surely corny 80's fantasy film plots and Queen songs weren't this influential?!?

Role Model Reality

Every great HR professional I work with just gets stuck in and makes the difference. There's no running around after the "shiny-shiny". There's no quantum leap to their blue sky thinking.

They earn their respect and place in the organisation through their actions and their quality of thinking.

Sometimes they are innovators.  Sometimes early adopters. Being an aspirational thought leader is not as important as being a good leader.  

They are trusted advisors and role models.  When they can't make a difference, they move on. They have purpose.

That's my experience; my reality.  What's yours?

The Blessed Effect

In the spirit of being lighthearted but serious this post has to be concluded with a very short clip of the quite wonderful Brian Blessed.  Perhaps HR could sometimes do with a bit more of him instead!